Category Archives: Uncategorized

I know what Twitter is like

It’s like the Noise in the Chaos Walking trilogy by Patrick Ness. It’s like being able to hear everyone’s thoughts all the time whether you want to or not. Or like Bruno Ganz in Wings of Desire. It’s nice when … Continue reading

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Library etiquette

I discovered today that in the library it is apparently acceptable to: Huff and puff and mutter ‘fucking bastards’ under your breath whilst looking at the internet. Consume a large packet of croissants and slurp coffee. Have an insanely loud … Continue reading

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Fantasy Celebrity MPs’ Question Time

You know what you have to do, Mr Speaker. You need to call all the following MPs to speak in one day, and we can have the bestest celebrity edition of Today (and Yesterday) in Parliament ever: Richard Bacon, (Con) … Continue reading

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Where did you get that hat?

I never got hats. For starters, I look a right tit in any hat, so that rules out me ever wearing one. Women’s hats were equally baffling to me. The word ‘fascinator’ only entered my vocabulary during the recent royal … Continue reading

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A load of balls

I’m not sporty – and I always had sympathy with the small child in the Alan Partridge sports headlines on The Day Today and On The Hour who caused turmoil at major sporting events by pointing out that golf, for … Continue reading

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