PART THREE OF THREE
Back in the cheap cafe.
KEVIN: Hello. You’re late.
MARTIN: Yes. Sorry. Very hard to get way some times. The editor is doing his nut for the summer issue, there’s a special pull-out section on…
KEVIN: But we’re not here to talk about work, are we?
MARTIN: No. I suppose not.
KEVIN: So, how was Cornwall?
MARTIN: Okay…
KEVIN: (pause) Has something happened?
MARTIN: Um. I don’t know how to tell you this…
KEVIN: What?
MARTIN: I’m having an affair.
KEVIN: With Constance. Yes.
MARTIN: No a real affair. With someone at work. She’s a graphic designer…
KEVIN: No… no….
MARTIN: Don’t get me wrong – you were very good. I was excited. I did enjoy the imaginary affair.
KEVIN: But why..? Oh this is a disaster…
MARTIN: It’s just that it seemed like hard work.
KEVIN: What?
MARTIN: Hard work. I decided that it was probably as much hard work pretending to have an affair as having a real affair. Only something was missing.
KEVIN: (hurt) What?
MARTIN: Frankly — the sex.
KEVIN: Oh.
MARTIN: You see for years now friends and colleagues have been warning me about affairs – not to have one, it’s not worth the aggro, the grief…
KEVIN: They’re right. That’s why…
MARTIN: Let me finish. Invariably these people do know what they’re talking about. They’ve had affairs. And it strikes me that they’ve had a lot of sex as well, a lot of sex with a lot of different women. And I haven’t. And I decided to do something about that.
KEVIN: I see.
MARTIN: So I’m afraid this is it. Goodbye. (getting up). It’s over.
MARTIN walks off leaving KEVIN alone.
KEVIN: (alone, quietly) You bastard.