Two removal vans have carted our old neighbours’ possessions off in two separate directions to two different houses, and later today we’ll be getting new neighbours.
I just dropped a welcome card through their letterbox. I did consider writing another pseudonymous card to freak them out:
Hullo. We’re Nigel and Julie from across the street. Welcome to your new home! We’re sure you’re going to love it here, and we admire the fact that you’ve not been put off by the incidents in your house. Still, I’m sure the police did a good job of putting the garden back as it was.
We’ve put you down for car parking-watch duties on Mondays and Tuesdays. You can collect your tabard and clipboard from Number 17. Just like to point out that we don’t allow barbecues or bonfires and no loud music after 7pm.
Key party nights are every third Monday night. This month’s theme is leather.
All the best, Nige & Jools x x x