PART TWO
A week later. Interior, fairly posh restaurant. Kevin is sitting alone at a table talking quietly into his mobile phone.
KEVIN: …no, well I have to say it went very well. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised by the results… oh you have? I’m so pleased. No, I’m sure he has no idea… ah, must go. Indeed. Bye.
MARTIN: (arriving) Hello again – not interrupting anything?
KEVIN: No, sorry – another client. Nice place, this.
MARTIN: Felt like splashing out.
KEVIN: So how’s it been?
MARTIN: Um. I don’t know how to put this…
KEVIN: You’re the wordsmith…
MARTIN: Amazing. I mean, for one thing – in the words of Kylie Minogue – I can’t get her out of my head.
KEVIN: Excellent.
MARTIN: I mean, well, it’s just… taken hold…
KEVIN: And has anything happened?
MARTIN: Since we met? Is this how it works?
KEVIN: Yes, you tell me what’s been going on. In your head.
MARTIN: It’s… amazing. Every song I hear is written for me – they’re singing to me and me alone. I haven’t felt like this since I was a teenager. And the sex… can I tell you about the sex?
KEVIN: If you like. (whispering) But do bear in mind where we are…
MARTIN: We started messaging each other – posting messages on her blog and commenting on her photos online. That kind of thing. Then she invited me round for another private view…
KEVIN: (knowing where this is going) Oh aye…
MARTIN: …and there was no-one else there. Just her.
KEVIN: And you slept together?
MARTIN: Yes. The sex… okay I’m not going to embarrass you…
KEVIN: Trust me, that’s quite hard…
MARTIN: It was just so… fantastic. I’ve never felt so alive. Does that make any sense?
KEVIN: Yes. It does.
MARTIN: I just wish I could spend more time with her…
KEVIN: You can – in your head, you need to compress longer moments into your… reveries, I like to call them.
MARTIN: Yes?
KEVIN: You should get away… a business trip perhaps. A magazine shoot…
MARTIN: In Cornwall… yes, tragically she could be the only photographer available at short notice…
KEVIN: There we go… I want you – in any snatched moment you may have – to think about what you and Constance are doing, away… in Cornwall…
MARTIN: Yes. I’ll do that.
KEVIN: And I trust your satisfied with the service, so far.
MARTIN: Oh yes. I’m… happier. I do feel more interesting. I swear some of my colleagues actually think I am having an affair…
KEVIN: I am pleased.
MARTIN: It’s hard work, though.
KEVIN: Mmm?
MARTIN: Thinking about the same person 24 hours a day. I’ve hardly slept…
KEVIN: But you feel good?
MARTIN: Yes. Fantastic.
KEVIN: Some of my clients even find it helps them lose weight, they lose interest in alcohol…
MARTIN: Yes! I usually drink half a bottle of wine every night – not touched a drop all week…
KEVIN: Indeed – some of my clients also find that their consumption of… pornography declines as well.
MARTIN: No comment.
KEVIN: Aha!
MARTIN: Yes. Well. Anyway, I really am most impressed.
KEVIN: Time to stop now. Eat up. And think of Cornwall…